I wish I could sit here and write about how awesome breastfeeding is and how much I loved it. And while I have a strong tendency to romanticize the natural side of parenting, there are some parts of it – particularly breastfeeding – that aren’t so glamorous.
Don’t get me wrong, I loved breastfeeding my daughter. Just…later. Actually, most of it was after she was eating solid foods. Which I’m realizing now as I write this. It really took the pressure off, and let us do the bonding everyone talks about.
The truth is, Little E and I had to wait to overcome some obstacles, and for her to grow up a little, before breastfeeding was that amazing emotional thing everyone talked about. So, now that it’s over, here are just a few things I am so done with…for now.
Pinching, Slapping, and Scratching
Oh my Gooooood…the amount of abuse I put up with whilst rocking my daughter to sleep, night nursing, and sessions on the couch. Tell her no? Pssssh…Yeah right! That girl screamed like a banshee. Every. Darn. Time.
Always On Call
Until Little E was nine months old, it seemed that every two hours, like clockwork, I had to express or nurse or else my boobs would suddenly blow up like balloon animals. Add a crying baby to the mix – specifically one with her own schedule in mind – and I was all nursed-out at the end of the day.
Being a One-Man Show
It’s easy to be resentful of your husband’s (or partner’s) useless boobs when you are up to bat every single time your baby is ready to nurse. Ready to eat lunch? Nope. Sleeping? Nope. Going to the bathroom? Think again! Through sleep regressions, growth spurts, and the works…
For months I thought my daughter had an acute sixth sense where she could tell when I had food inches from my mouth. It was to the point where my husband and I ate dinner in shifts, which didn’t really work out for me since his boobs were useless. To add to that, nursing gave me a serious appetite.
Carrying a Gigantic Bag of Pumping Accessories
Seriously! What makes that thing so heavy?! I felt like that was part of my postpartum workout. I have a permanent lump in my right shoulder from lugging that thing around.
That was probably the worst part of breastfeeding. My daughter hated nursing covers. And before we even got where she could tell the difference, we had some serious issues to work out. As a result of those issues, I needed to see her. I got some pretty noticeable side-eye from strangers. But oddly, the ones that stuck came from people I trusted to be cool with public nursing…like the nurses at the OB/GYN. I’m not looking for attention while breastfeeding. And I think it’s crazy to expect me to get up and continue to nurse my daughter whilst walking around with her on my breast, carrying a diaper bag and a car seat…six weeks postpartum. #GetOverYourself
Anyway, that’s my shortlist of breastfeeding issues I’m glad to be done with. Have something to add to this list? Leave it in the comments below! And don’t forget to subscribe to be updated on my newest posts!